Dear Lu, After reading both your blog and your comments I’m still struggling to understand your interest in Islam given your beliefs 1) that Jesus never existed and 2) the inglorious history of Christianity.
Strange because 1)Islam unequivocally believes in the historical Jesus and 2)Islam has an inglorious history of its own. (So why aren’t you just Buddhist?)
And communism is inherently atheistic so I don’t know what to make of that. Secondly, now that a few years have passed since you were 14, I’m wondering have you revisited the research on Jesus. There’s bound to have been a few developments since then.
Me and Master Jesus: Throughout my childhood I had a very intense relationship to Master Jesus and I never doubted his existence, for I was aware of his presence permanently. He was my one and true best friend and when I lay down to sleep, I used to talk to him and tell him all my troubles. And sometimes I actually felt him sitting down and listening or - when I was very sad or lonely - he lay down with me and comforted me. I was a boy and I loved my Jesus with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my strength. If anyone then had told me: "Listen, he lived a long, long time ago, 2.000 years, and we have no traces of him, so we cannot really proof he existed…" I would have been very satisfied. No further questions asked. This would definitely not have interfered with my relationship to Master Jesus. But instead everybody (parents, teachers, preachers) talked of him as a certain historical person and those who knew (teachers, preachers) kept quiet from me, that there was more than reasonable doubt about his existence. Thus my trust was completely destroyed, shattered. I left the church (which in Germany you are allowed to do at the age of 14 because of the Canonic Law) Since than, 36 years have passed and still: there is not the least trace of a guy called Jesus in that region and time, or rather, there are too many as for one ‘Jesus (Jehoshua)’ was a very common name at that time, and second it seems that almost everybody then was standing on a barrel preaching… But: it is different for me now. That there is no proof of his existence does not proof his non-existence. He may have. Or not. Undoubtedly something strong happened there and is happening until today. Personally I am convinced one of the Great Masters of HUmanity lived then and there and may have been called Jesus and when you want to contact him: do not seek him in religion. He is right now in your heart. Once you find him there, you will know and still you can’t proof.
Me and Islam: my revered teacher is a Sufi. It is very hard to find Sufis that do not in one way or other relate to Islam. So I will gladly call myself a Muslim but in case you yourself are a Muslim, I do not think you’ll agree and in case you are a non-Muslim, you will not understand why. I do not believe Muhammad was the last prophet though he beyond doubt was one of the Great Masters of HUmanity. The Holy Quran just as the Holy Bible were written and adjusted according to social, political and theological need, and I will not talk of the Ahadith or the New Testament. But still I am a seeker and connect strongly in the heart of my hearts to the message of Islam as perceived by my humble unworthiness: Love, Peace, Surrender, Sisterhood and Brotherhood of Mankind, Harmony, Beauty. Yes, especially Beauty. Islam for me is the most beautiful religion.
Me and Buddhism: this is a short one. My personal spiritual practice is Zen. In my eyes this is not really different from Sufism and I would not object if any one called me a Buddhist - it really doesn’t matter…
Inglorious histories: yeah - you’re right! Shame on them! How dare they use both these peaceful religions to pollute the message!
Me and communism: I am not a communist that believes in God but a seeker that believes in communism. To press it in a nutshell: Sisterhood and Brotherhood of Mankind = Communism. In my early days I thought communism to be the result of a social development but nowadays I think it will be the result of a spiritual development.